Bullying is never ok, violence is not the answer - even if its Will Smith and Chris Rock
I know the pain. I have lived it. I have felt it with all my nerves. My loved one has lost all her hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes to a health problem. It was traumatic. Luckily in her case, her hair grew back. She is still dealing with the trauma. We all are.
At the 94th Academy Awards, Chris Rock joked “Jada I love you, ‘G.I. Jane 2,’ can’t wait to see it” - Jada Pinkett Smith has a close haircut because she suffers from alopecia, an autoimmune disorder that causes hair loss. Demi Moore famously shaved her head for her role in the film “G.I. Jane” - The joke was not funny - I was disgusted when I heard it. I felt the pain in Jada's eyes. Will Smith, Jada’s husband, first laughed at the joke (sometimes your body reacts before your brain kicks in). Then, he walked to the stage and hit Rock in the face. I wish he didn’t.
I wish Will Smith would have turned the moment into a great lesson for our kids- that you don't make a joke at the expense of someone else’s pain. That bullying could happen anywhere, even by famous people on National TV during what’s supposed to be a celebration of achievements and talents. But wherever and by whoever it happens, it’s absolutely not acceptable, and people who witness it, should stand up and demand an apology from the insulter. I wish Will Smith would have walked up to the stage, and right there would have asked Chris for a real apology to Jada Pinkett Smith, his wife. I wish he would have demanded the Academy for an apology for letting such an insult happen on their stage. I wish he would have taken a deep breath before walking up to the stage, looked into Chris’s eyes, and would remind him comedy doesn’t equal bullying. Violence is never the answer.
Yes, the pain is real. Seeing your loved ones going through serious health issues is extremely hard. Seeing your loved ones deal with the trauma is hard. Knowing how hard it is for your loved one to show up for you, rock a stunning look, and keep their head up even if inside they may feel uncomfortable - it’s hard. The mental load is high. It’s not easy to not be ok when you know your loved one is the one who is really not ok and needs your support to go through it all. It was supposed to be a happy night for Will Smith and his family. It was ruined by an extremely inappropriate joke. I wish he wouldn’t show violence. I wish he would have been the one walking out of that room being apologized to.
Roughly 1 in 5 children ages 12 to 18 are bullied in U.S. schools, according to data released in 2019 by the National Center for Education Statistics. The trend is even worst in middle school with almost 1 in 3 students report incidents in sixth grade! Kids need to practice kindness, learn how to empathize with one another, learn how to effectively communicate about their emotions, and have the courage to apologize when they hurt someone. I wish Will Smith would have used the moment at the academy to set up a great example for kids. He failed. I wish Chris Rock would have used the moment to graciously apologize to Jada once he saw how much he hurt her and her family. I wish Chris would have shown that bullying is not cool, and the first step to help someone you hurt is to show them how sorry you are for causing the pain. He failed. I wish the Academy would have taken away Chris’s mic right away as he engaged in the act of bullying on their stage. They failed.
Families and educators can use this incident as an opportunity to talk to their children and students about their experience of bullying and best ways to handle these situations. Our kids do hear the news - we should engage with them as they try to make sense of these issues in our society and encourage them to build a kinder and more inclusive world for their future.